Buffers to Cry On
by AaronCottrell97
Summary: Months have passed since Thomas left to travel the world, and with a new couple being the talk of the railway, Emily is now feeling more depressed and lonely without Thomas than ever. All she wants is for him to come home and to have some buffers to cry on. Thankfully, she has two brothers to help ease her pain.


There had been quite a discovery for the whole Island of Sodor. Belle and Flynn had been discovered by Emily and had revealed to everyone that they were in love. They had been holding that secret ever since they fell in love, out of fear that it would be seen as a bad thing, but instead if helped glorify their relationship and enjoy it much more.

But then things began to go unwell for Emily. She began to feel thwarted again, not having Thomas with her. It had been a few months now, and as she found herself thinking about him more and more…she began to miss him even more badly. Ever since she had helped Belle and Flynn reveal their secret to everyone, she took in the fact that here was now yet another couple on Sodor. There was Luke and Millie, Rosie and Stanley, James and Molly, Percy and Gina, and now as she recently learnt, Belle and Flynn. Without Thomas, there was no couple for Emily. As happy as she was for Belle and Flynn, everything she heard about their love became a sobering reminder of how much she missed Thomas and how badly she now wanted him to come home again. She found it much more difficult to be happy, even with all her friends helping her, and her sadness was beginning to overtake her again.

Over the next little while, Emily…and even Thomas began to feel their own loneliness playing to them...

One day, Emily found herself staring at the trees wherever she went, remembering how she and Thomas worked together and enjoyed the Autumn colours in that siding in the shade of all the red and gold leaves. Then she past a lovely field full of flowers. She couldn't help but think about the times Thomas gave her flowers. For their anniversary, at Valentine's Day, and the last time they made love together before he left. She caught sight of a line of red roses and felt her heart sink so deep, it hurt. She whistled loudly and went faster along the line in an attempt to escape those thoughts, but it was no good. Everything that reminded her of times with Thomas were becoming less about happy memories and more a saddening reminder that he wasn't there.

Meanwhile, way out in the wide world, Thomas was finally feeling the deep wound of loneliness and isolation without his angel. He was on another ferry on the sea, travelling through the night to his next stop. He always kept Emily in the back of his mind while he explored and discovered everything he had seen so far, but now he couldn't shake away his thoughts of her anymore. He had been away from her for a long time now and wondered when he'd ever get back to Sodor. He stared at the clear night sky and began to realize something.

"This really is a big, exciting and wonderful world," he whispered to himself. And indeed, what he had seen so far was wonderful in its way, and he would continue to see even more of it for a long while more…but to his mind, it wasn't enough. It couldn't be enough.

"But it can NEVER truly be wonderful without you, Emily. I…I miss you so much…" he whimpered softly as the ferry sailed on…

The next day on Sodor, Emily had been working hard all afternoon, when suddenly, the weather changed into a torrent of heavy rain and clapping thunder. She struggled through the rest of her work and returned to Tidmouth Sheds that evening, all while the rain kept falling hard and the thunder kept roaring loudly through the night. Without Thomas there for Emily to enjoy, she felt rather frightened to constantly listen to the storm rage on outside. All she could do was keep her eyes shut and wait for it to end, however long it would take.

The next morning, the rain had stopped. When Emily woke up, she saw the golden-red sunrise parting the storm clouds. It was an amazing sight to behold…and as if it wasn't spectacular enough, Emily saw a big, wide rainbow, just like the one Thomas had followed back to Tidmouth Sheds several years ago. That thought made Emily feel even sadder as she stared at the rainbow, only wishing Thomas was there to enjoy it with her. David came by to see her and offered to go with her for the day.

Later that day Emily and David were moving along the line together. Almost everywhere they turned, they could see the residents of Sodor going by. At stations, they saw friends talking pleasantly and sharing handshakes. Others were talking with enthusiasm about Belle and Flynn's newfound revealed relationship, and at some stations, Emily caught glimpses of married couples saying, "I love you." That only made her feel even sadder.

And Thomas felt sadder too as his adventure went on and on. As much as he enjoyed the new places he had visited so far and was very excited to see them for himself, whenever he was either resting in a shed, or on the sea on a ferry, he would always remember Emily. The next time he was on a ferry through the night, he stared at the stars and envisioned her appearance in the sky…then shut his eyes in tears.

Finally, a few days after, David and Emily had been riding together in silence until they approached Back Loch that evening. They stared endlessly out to the lake and the castle beyond, cast brightly against the sun. But it just wasn't the same without Thomas being there. Emily and David stared on, feeling empty and lonely. Emily felt sad to be here too. To be at the place where her love with Thomas began its earliest stages and ultimately led to that love flourishing in all its glory was the worst loneliness Emily had ever felt as she felt the absence of her handsome cobalt star.

At last, David broke the silence. "What are we in? This is a nightmare!" he exclaimed. "It's just too much. All this time so far, we haven't had Thomas. The whole island knows him like the storybooks, and Heaven knows where he may me! What are we to do, Emily?"

"I don't know, David," Emily wheeshed. "And I wish I did! If only there was someone who could help me! I love him and I miss him! I'd give anything just to see him come back to me!"

"What about Percy?" suggested David. "Wouldn't he be a good help, going with you to Knapford Station to be mother and son together?"

Emily sighed. "Oh, David, I'd love to, but at this point, I don't think that would be enough. It's just been so long! I'll need much more than Percy's son-like love. I…I just want to see Thomas again so badly!"

"I know, Emily," said David. "I'm beginning to feel the edge too. It isn't the same without him."

After only a few minutes more, Emily decided not to stay at Black Loch. David got back onboard and they set off hastily back to the Main Line. Emily dropped David off at Ffarquhar so as to let him make his way home, said goodbye and steamed off back to Tidmouth Sheds, hoping to find someone to talk to so she could get some of her loneliness over with.

But another setback was already awaiting her on her return. As Emily came around the bend and saw Tidmouth Sheds, she saw Edward on the turntable and could hear faint voices. She wondered what was going on until she saw Edward turn around and leave the sheds. She watched as he went down the track and out of the yards. Emily reversed on her line to follow him until they came to Knapford Station. Emily managed to overtake Edward and call to him, making him stop.

"Edward? Where are you going?" asked Emily. "I saw you talking with the others back there."

"I'm moving back to Wellsworth, Emily…altogether," said Edward.

Emily's heart jolted. "What? But why?"

"I know I had planned to stay here with the rest of you until Thomas returned, but after all this time, it's quite clear he still won't be back for a long while, and I don't feel it's worth it to wait out just for him. It was my choice to move to Wellsworth with Philip. It's closer to my Branch Line. But I promise, as soon as we hear that Thomas is returning, I will be with all the rest of you to welcome him back."

"But Edward…do excuse me for asking, but don't you want to be with all of us?" asked Emily.

"I've been seeing all of you as often as ever," said Edward. "And I'm perfectly happy at Wellsworth with Philip. I've been at Tidmouth Sheds for as long as anyone can remember…even back before Thomas ever came here. I think this little change is a welcome one for me."

Emily sighed. "I won't stop you, Edward…but this is quite sudden for me to learn just now. It's been so long already without Thomas. I know we haven't done much together, Edward, but you were the one who could see our relationship deeper than we did ourselves before it flourished altogether…I just wish we had done more together! I was hoping I could talk with you about how I feel, but now I see that isn't an option! I just miss Thomas SO much!"

"I still work on the Main Line, Emily. And I miss Thomas as much as all of you…but as you know, he isn't gone for good. He'll be home before you know it. And there are plenty other engines who would be happy to help you. For now, I must return to Wellsworth."

And Edward started off again. Emily had hoped he could stay to help her through her loneliness, but now it seemed that wasn't a choice for her. To be missing Thomas was getting very hard, but then to hear that Edward was leaving Tidmouth Sheds again, for the last time, was another barrier to face. She remembered when he left the sheds before, thinking about what they did manage to do together. How he helped her through her fears when Thomas went missing to Misty Island, how he helped Thomas vanquish his inner demon and more. Now he was leaving again. If he couldn't help her right now, who could?

Emily suddenly blurted out one more thing. "Edward!" she called.

Edward stopped again and looked back. He heard Emily reversing in his direction. She passed him, then switched to his line, looking nervous, but longing. Before Edward could speak, Emily rushed right up to him and pressed her lips to his cheek. Edward was shocked by this, but then slowly smiled as Emily kissed him softly.

About a minute later, Emily let go of Edward's cheek and stared at him, looking calmer than before. Edward also seemed pleasantly surprised to be kissed by Emily as she spoke.

"There. That's all. A little thank you for everything you've done for Thomas and me...Goodbye, Edward," she whispered.

Edward smiled gently at her with wise, kindly eyes. "Goodbye, Emily. You'll never be alone. And our Thomas will come home." And he set off, back to Wellsworth once again.

When Edward had left, Emily felt even more empty. She thought frantically of anyone she could turn to so she could cast out her sadness before it became too much for her. Then she suddenly thought of who she had not approached yet about Thomas, and she raced off down the line as evening turned into night.

Donald and Douglas had finished their day's work at Arlesburgh and were idling side by side together, watching the night sky, when they saw Emily come by, then stop just before the points. They could see she was not well right now and had been plagued by loneliness and despair over not having Thomas there for her.

"Oh. Hello, Emily," said Donald.

"Hello, Donald and Douglas," Emily said sadly. "I've been looking for both of you…"

"Why? Whatever is the matter, darling?" asked Douglas.

"I've been feeling so awful lately," Emily whimpered. "Ever since Belle and Flynn told us all about their relationship, it's made me miss Thomas even more. I didn't think much about it before, but to see and hear all about Belle and Flynn's relationship, I just can't bear it here without Thomas! And Edward's gone back to Wellsworth again! Please, can you two help me?"

"Of course, Emily," said Donald. "We would nae pass up helping you, ever."

"Thanks, you two," said Emily. "It's been a few months now, and everywhere I've been going these past few days, just about everything around me has been reminding me of Thomas and how much we love each other! The lovely flowers in the fields, the trees, and Black Loch. They're all becoming less about happy memories about our love and more a saddening reminder that he isn't here. And some time ago, we had a terrible thunderstorm that lasted all through the night. I was so frightened to hear the thunder and not have Thomas there to keep me safe! I…I…I just want him to come home again!"

"We know, Emily," said Donald. "We miss him dearly too. When we heard that he went missing, we wouldn't stop searching for him…but then we learned he wasn't even on the island! He went off on a ship…to see the world!"

When Emily heard that, she suddenly felt the need to reveal something herself. Not as big as Belle and Flynn's secret, but maybe it would help her express how she felt to her two favourite brothers on Sodor.

"You know, Donald and Douglas?" Emily said feebly. "I…I have something to confess to both of you."

"What's that, lassie?" Douglas asked.

"Remember when Thomas went missing that day, and everyone began wondering where he was until I told the Fat Controller what had happened?"

"Aye. It must have been rough for you to hear that news in the first place," said Donald. "We both feel so sorry you had to learn that."

"Actually…no, it wasn't a shock to me," said Emily. "I…I wasn't truly shocked to hear that Thomas had gone missing that day. I…I actually knew of his plan to travel the world in the first place…he told me himself the evening before he left."

Donald and Douglas' voices froze in their mouths as they stared at Emily. They did not expect to hear that.

"You…you knew he was leaving?" asked Douglas.

"Yes, Douglas. I did," said Emily. "He came to me the evening before and he told me everything. See, there was a yellow race car named Ace who had found his way here and talked about a tour he was going on that would take him to many countries across the world…and since Thomas always wanted to see the world…he decided to take that chance and join Ace on the tour. He was very good to tell me before leaving so I wouldn't be shocked and worried. And while you were all looking for him, I went to the docks to see him off. We shared one more kiss and goodbye, and I stayed there with David until we couldn't see him or the ferry anymore…and it was only when James came by, asking about his whereabouts when I decided to rush back and tell the Fat Controller something…and then the next day, he left too to try and find him."

"So…you knew he was leaving?" asked Donald.

"Yes…I…I was only pretending to be as surprised as everyone else was when they learnt he was missing. As much as I knew he wouldn't be here for a very long time on that adventure, I didn't want to stop him from that wish he had thought of so long ago, both because he was kind enough to let me know he was leaving, and since I didn't say anything about saying yes or no to him wanting to travel beyond Sodor."

Donald and Douglas were both a little surprised that their sister figure had known about Thomas' wish more than anyone else.

"Dear me," said Donald. "You were very brave indeed to let him go, Emily. To let him do something that big and that long is something I don't think any other romantic couple could do."

"Indeed," added Douglas. "But…we can see right now that it's becoming too much for you."

Emily looked at both of them as her lips began to quiver. Then she began to cry. She felt good talking with her brother figures, but after so much time being plagued with thoughts about Thomas, her sadness couldn't hold itself in anymore. Her tears began to fall and her voice began to break into such heartbreaking sobs.

"Oh, Donald! Douglas!" she wailed. "I miss Thomas so much! I love him so much…and I don't EVER want to lose him! He may be a smart, determined engine, and he's always come back just thinking about me…but I have no idea where he is or what he may be going through! I can only imagine how lonely he might feel every now and then! And I have no idea when he'll ever be back! I…I can't bear it anymore! I just need SOMEONE's buffers to cry on! It's my only hope right now to feel even a little better!"

And Emily fell back into heaving sobs. Donald and Douglas both felt the need to really help her.

"Well, if there's anything you want us to do to help you, please tell us, Emily," said Donald.

"Aye. We wish to help you right now," added Douglas.

"That's that, then."

"Aye, that's that."

Then, it happened. Donald and Douglas began to argue again. This was exactly what Emily did not need right now. Her sadness suddenly changed to shock, fear and then anger as she heard them bicker.

"That's what I said."

"So did I."

"I said it first though."

"No, I said it first."

"Yes, I did!"

"No, you didnae! I said it first!"

Emily suddenly felt a flare of brief, but desperate anger and dashed forward, bumping Donald hard, and blowing her whistle shrilly at Douglas.

"PLEASE, you two!" she yelled through her gritted teeth. "DO NOT start arguing now, when I've been without Thomas for too long now! Don't you get it?! You don't know what it's like to be separated from the one you're in love with!"

Neither brother said a thing. Then Emily began shaking, out of regret for her sudden spat, and from how sad she was about Thomas. She shakily apologized for her sudden behaviour, then fell right back to crying again. Donald and Douglas watched miserably as tears kept leaving her eyes and her sobs kept going. It was heartbreaking for both of them to see her cry. It immediately made them remember that unfortunate day when they argued so much that they ended up derailing her with that snowball. Even though they made things better the next day and worked well with her afterwards, that was a time they would never forget, both in good and bad ways.

"Great Scott. What a pig I've been," Douglas lamented.

"Me too, Douggie," said Donald.

They both looked at Emily again. Her eyes had never seen so wet before, her cheeks were now covered with so many tear trails, and her sobs kept going on and on. Both brothers knew they'd have to be her buffers to cry on. They couldn't be quarrelsome now. If they had any chance to make Emily feel better, it would have to be done in however she found the best way.

Douglas very carefully approached her and spoke while she sniffled and hiccuped. "Emily, we're both here for you. We can't bear to see you cry right now…we both want to console you…but please tell us…who do you want comfort from first? We only want you to feel better, however you see fit."

Emily looked up again, looking left and right for a moment, then suddenly, she buffered to Douglas and began to beg softly.

"Oh, Douglas," she sobbed, her voice much quieter, nearly a whisper. "You were the first to work with me here when Thomas and I came here together, and you showed care for me that winter we worked together, and I have you to thank for truly starting our sibling bond together. Please may I enjoy your comfort first?"

Douglas could see the desperate need for comfort in her eyes as she whimpered and cried. His boiler bubbled surely as he gently buffered to his sister. Emily suddenly seemed calmer and felt safer.

"Alright, Emily," Douglas said kindly. "But…I don't wish to do too much too quickly as your brother. Is there anything you want to me to begin with?"

Emily heard Douglas' gentle voice and kind eyes. She still cried a little, but managed to speak clearly and gently, and even smiled a little.

"Well…I like to be cuddled, even by other engines besides Thomas," she said. "I do it with Percy sometimes when we share mother-to-son nights in Knapford Sheds…but right now, you're the best brothers to do that. Please cuddle me, big brother."

Douglas willingly buffered closer and gently touched his cheeks to hers, then very gently leaned left and right, rubbing their cheeks together so softly. Emily shuddered and sighed contently.

"Yes…that's it, Douglas…" she whispered. "That feels nice..."

"I know, Emily," Douglas murmured. "You're the dearest sister we could ask for…But I can still see you look sad. What else may I do for you?"

Emily struggled to hold back her tears as she answered. "Please kiss me like a loving brother would, Douglas…Kiss me, pretty-pretty ple-e-ease?"

Douglas heard her and became even more controlled and practical. "Yes, my dear," he said kindly. "As our sister figure…I love you, Emily."

And Douglas leaned in and gently kissed Emily's cheek. It was the first time he had ever kissed his sister figure and was it ever lovely. Her cheeks were still wet from her tears, but Douglas absolutely loved how warm and soft her skin was. And as he heard her react, he knew his comfort was working. Emily sighed again as she felt Douglas kissing her slowly, but gently and under control, then for the first time, she called him by his nickname.

"Ohh…D-Douggie…" Emily whimpered. "I love you, dear brother. Oh, Douggie…"

"I love you too, bonnie sister," Douglas murmured as he continued to kiss her cheeks. Donald watched patiently, knowing he would get a chance too. He was just happy to see Emily starting to feel better.

About five minutes later, Douglas stopped and looked at Emily. She was smiling lightly, and she kissed his cheek in return. Then Douglas moved away so Emily could choose what she wanted next.

"Okay…I'm ready for Donnie," she said.

Donald's heart flipped when he heard his nickname as he smiled and switched to her line. Then he buffered to her too. As Emily stared into his eyes, more tears threatened to spill from hers. She managed not to sob out loud, but her tears began falling again as she pressed her buffers right to Donald's and silently cried. Donald took his chance and softly kissed her cheeks too, making Emily melt deeper into his buffer's embrace until her cheeks were touching his.

"Please don't cry anymore, Emily," Donald said, nearly crying himself. "Your tears break both our hearts."

"I'm not crying about Thomas anymore, Donnie," Emily whimpered. "I'm actually feeling happy. Happy that you both care so much for me as brother figures."

"Aww, Emily," Donald smiled. "If your tears are of happiness…that makes us very happy too."

Emily sniffled and gave Donald a kiss on his cheek. "Oh…my No. 9 brother. I love you…Donnie," she said.

"I love you too, Emily. We both do," Donald answered.

Five minutes later, Donald moved away to give Douglas another turn. Emily was still crying happily from all the brotherly love and support she was getting right now, and as Douglas buffered to her again, he could see she was actually smiling as she kept crying. When she touched her cheeks to his and let him cuddle her again, she felt a little surprised when she saw him begin to cry too.

"There, there. Why, it's alright, Emily…it's alright…" he whispered gently as his tears began to fall.

"I know, Douggie," Emily whispered back. "You're both such good brothers to me. I don't care if we haven't always seen on perfect grounds together, like that unpleasant day that winter, but I know both of you would never trouble me on purpose. You're both the best brothers I will ever have."

"Oh…I…I feel so happy now, Emily. Just like you," Douglas whimpered. "Happy that we've been able to help you tonight."

"Yes, Emily," Donald added. "We're your buffers to cry on, out of sadness, or happiness."

This made Emily feel very safe. For quite a while, the three of them stayed together, sharing brother to sister love for each other. Donald would take his turns to comfort Emily, and Douglas would take his turns too, and both engines were indeed Emily's buffers to cry on. She'd cry out of sadness and loneliness not to have Thomas with her, but she also cried happily just to be with her brothers and be helped so dearly by them.

About an hour later, Emily managed to stop crying, as did Donald and Douglas. It had been an emotional, but heartwarming evening spent together.

"Thank you…Donnie and Douggie," Emily whispered happily and affectionately. "I love you both…so much."

"We love you too, Emily," Donald and Douglas said together. "And don't worry about Thomas. He always returns from his adventures, big or small. We'll all be here for him when he comes home."

Emily smiled again and buffered to Donald. She kissed his cheek first, then approached Douglas and kissed his cheek too.

"Well, I do feel a little better. Thank you both, so much. Goodnight, boys," she chimed.

"Goodnight, Emily," Donald and Douglas said together. "Keep smiling."

And Emily set off on her way home. She still felt a flicker of sadness in her heart, but she also felt much better than she had before. Thomas would not be back for a long while more, but until then, there were still several events lined up for several engines across the island. The next of which would be a rather colourful one in its way for two other engines.

* * *

It's feels good to finally publish other stories after you've spent months working on an ongoing story. Thomas wasn't originally going to appear in this, but it actually felt appropriate to see him on his journey going through what Emily was going through as well. Anyway, next story will be our first Season 22 episode, an adaptation of "An Engine of Many Colours", which actually takes place during Season 21, so really next story is mostly gonna be a flashback story. So tell us what you thought of this story and we'll see you all next time.


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